‘You are such a baby…emotionally’ by Uncle Cheekywise

‘Does my biological age match my emotional age?’ It’s a question every adult should ask themselves. Yes, it is necessary because we have unfortunately reached a stage in civilization where a 50-year-old man or woman who drives a luxury SUV, pays their mortgage on time and is bringing up three children still kicks off because someone cuts ahead of them at the supermarket queue.

Biological age is easy to measure: check their birth certificate, their face without the makeup, hands, candles on a cake, the grey hairs or signs of hair dye. But emotional age? That’s harder. It shows itself in road rage, office gossip, social media culture wars, petty arguments between couples or friends and the uncanny ability to deflect blame faster than a toddler with chocolate on their face insisting, “It wasn’t me”. Oh, almost forgot the ultimate in baby(ish) behaviour: when a grown ass man or woman weaponises silence like they are in Year 5 and didn’t get invited to a birthday party because no one likes the way they pick on everyone. Apologies to Year 5 students who don’t act like that by the way.

Here’s eight pieces of advice that ‘might’ help:

1. Grow up 

2. Grow up- you are too old for this nonsense

3. Grow up- just because your family and friends don’t say it to your face doesn’t mean they are not tired of your nonsense and ashamed of you. 

4. Grow up- your grandkids are watching 

5. Grow up- you don’t need to ‘win’ every flipping argument. You left the playground decades ago. 

6. Grow up- stop sulking. We are not your mummy. We won’t kiss it better. 

7. Grow up- you are old enough to control your emotions and not the other way round. 

8. That’s it. The work starts now. I will check in with you in a year or two…or three or… Yes, it might take that long to finally fit into your big boy or girl shoes.