‘Bound at the hip’ by Uncle Cheekywise

Hmm, marriage—the noble institution where two people, drunk on love, legally agree to share one bed, a bathroom, a joint account and the household chores and then slowly develop mutual resentment over whose turn it is to tackle the same household chores. Don't let that put you off though. I have done it thrice and here's what I learnt...good and bad:

Advantages of Marriage:

Built-In Flatmate:

Never again will you have to eat takeaway alone while watching Netflix

Plus-One: You don’t have to suck up to friends or check their availability to accompany you to that party. You have someone who is almost legally obliged to go.

Health Monitoring: Who needs NHS apps or letters from your doctors to remind you of your appointments when you have a spouse saying “Have you booked that appointment yet?” twenty times before breakfast?

Reduced takeaway bill: You are no longer on first name terms with Uber delivery drivers. You now have a frowning face to check your excesses.

Sex on tap: …as long as you have agreed to and actually finished washing the car, helped with the cooking, fixed the leaking tap, took out the bins, helped with putting the children to bed…

Disadvantages of Marriage:

Group Chat with the Out-Laws: You thought you were marrying one person. Surprise! You’ve now acquired a whole circus of opinions, traditions, a prettier and flirtatious sister-in-law and a passive-aggressive father-in-law.

The never-ending Thermostat War: One of you is always cold (no gender was mentioned during the writing of this). The other is always wrong (poor guy).

‘Say what?: Somehow, “Take the bins out” never registers, but “Let’s order a curry” is heard three rooms away.

Décor Wars: You thought you understood them well enough to marry them. You are soul mates. Yet, here you are calling each other all the names under the sun because she wants a green-themed bathroom suite and you want a divorce.

Sex not on tap: So near yet so far. ‘Another headache, darling’. Your single friends are laughing.

In conclusion, marriage can be a rewarding partnership filled with support, love, laughter and legally binding levels of compromise you can’t believe you are actually paying for. It’s not for everyone. If you can’t take the bad with the good then you might need to steer clear. How it pans out is down to you, your chosen one, the two of you or whoever the heck you let have a voice in your marriage. Do yourself a big favour and don't waste your time badmouthing marriage because it didn't work out for you. I tried that. It only made me feel good for five minutes.

By Dean Arutoghor ©